Expectations …

Standard

Dear Diary ,

سب مایا ہے

سب ڈھلتی پھرتی چھایا ہے

Don’t expect from others … Don’t expect “anything” from others !!!

This has been one my life principles ever since “the” incident a very long time ago … That one incident changed my life forever … my world, my feelings, my thoughts, my emotions, my ideologies, my view point of life and people … everything changed.

First thing I realized then that nothing in this world is like the world in literature and movies and dramas. The world which we have been reading and watching and consequently idolizing and dreaming is not there at all.

The “Muhabbat” is not like that depicted by Ashfaq Ahmed (those are very very rare cases), the heavenly made couples or happy endings are not there like the novels of Bushra Rehman or Razia Butt, neither the luck is always with you nor you can always outsmart the unfavorable circumstances as done by the “Pak-Asia Secret Service” in Imran series J.

So considering all the above the 4-5 months were following the incident were spent in self imposed gloom and sadness.

But not everything about the “real” world turned out to be disappointing. I observed and found out that the world is not that tragic as said by Bano Qudsia, Nor it is that much cruel as depicted by Manto, I found examples where the street of bandraban (بندرابن کی گلی)
was not kunj (کنج) at the end , where parmeshar singh(پرمیشر سنگھ) was actually rewarded for his good deeds , also saw examples where “کرنیل کور
was actually appreciated and accepted for the what she was and not rejected based on her status, past or heritage.

So I realized that this world is not that bad J. It’s just that when you expect things in return and you “don’t” get them so you get disappointed.

So I started trying “not” to have expectations especially from people. Just like hope for the best but prepare for the worst. This doesn’t at all mean that I don’t trust or care about my loved ones or my friends. It’s just that I have accepted the fact that people are not perfect, never can be, they can’t do justice in paying you back just the same as “you” can’t do justice in repaying others. They can’t always care for you the way you care for them, can’t always love you as the way you love them, can’t sacrifice for you exactly the same you sacrifice for them and it’s the same other way around. It’s not that they don’t “want” to … they just can’t because they have their own reasons and circumstances.

All the ramblings I wrote above, of course I don’t and can’t follow them perfectly. But with practice you get quite good at the “no expectations” thing 😛 . But lately I have put down my guard and some cracks appeared in my fortress from which some expectations crept in and have wreaked havoc L. The irony is that I “want” to get rid of these expectations but at the same time I “want” to keep them … Any suggestion

Confused,

Ali


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9 responses »

  1. True! One who has got a sensitive nature will keep committing to death many times a day and will learn one day that nothing is perfect including oneself. In my opinion, a person should keep learning from his/her failures rather than learning from books/movies/advices etc.

    You are 100% right with your statement that nobody should expect anything from others but it definitely doesn’t mean that he/she isn’t trusting others. I’m sure if you put yourself exactly at the position of every other person you interact with, you’ll be busy in fulfilling their expectations associated with you and forget your own ones. This is a great work indeed, trust me:)

    But remember Ali, life isn’t too good to allow you keep doing bad with yourself. One day, you’ll be expecting some one, whom you can expect anything from. At least one, you’ll be asking for. May Allah bless you with that ONE to feel yourself relaxed. Ameen

  2. Oye……”jahan likha hay wahan parhtay nahin aur …… ”
    So buddy, you need some direction. Yar koi bill board parh, shaed k koi direction mil jaye !

    Anyways, I agree with Salman Ajnabi to a good extent; yet to complete the thing, I would add k one should learn from “someone” ‘s experience too. So you need to…..

    Oh let me write back you soon, insha Allah.
    (keeping suspense as always 😛 )

  3. @farhan:

    audio post ki suggestion poetry posts par hoti to tukk bhi thi … yahan kia audio post karoon ? .. besided .. i really like this font .. but yeah the size is low.. it was directly posted from Word 2007 … u can always zoom + in browser to read it 😛

  4. this is one thing im confused about as well. i think it is okay to expect but not beyond the bounds of the role description one plays in your life. often, when you expect low and the it is met with an action that exceeds it, the feeling is wonderful, if not surreal. it makes for good surprises. 🙂 i suppose you’ve gone a long way ali.

  5. agar aapko waqai “NO Xpectations” wala nuskha mil gya ho..And if you had successdully applied it on practical basis..then help me too…

    • Its not that difficult 🙂 read again the last 2 paragraphs of my post … you just have to “willingly” instruct your head and heart to do it … love them, trust them , expect but “realistically” and “as less as possible” 🙂

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